Many people feel the compulsive need to seek external validation through various means, such as seeking approval from others or measuring their self-worth based on material possessions. This behavior can create a cycle of suffering that can become deeply ingrained over time.

The Twelve Nidanas, a core concept in Buddhist philosophy, can help explain this cycle and provide insights into how we can break free from it. The twelve links describe a chain of events that lead to suffering and help us understand how our actions and behaviors are conditioned by past experiences and habits.

In the case of seeking external validation, the cycle begins with Ignorance, the lack of understanding of the true nature of self and the impermanence of external circumstances, leading to clinging to the need for approval as a way of defining oneself. This creates a habitual thought pattern or Mental Formations that reinforces the need for approval.

As a result, Consciousness, our awareness of the world around us, is conditioned by these mental formations, leading us to focus on seeking approval in daily interactions. Our Name and Form, our physical and mental attributes, then manifest in ways that are susceptible to seeking approval.

We rely on our Six Sense Bases, such as our sense of hearing or sight, to interpret the words of others, leading to Contact. We engage in interactions to obtain approval, creating a moment of Contact.

When we receive approval, we experience a pleasant feeling or Feeling. This reinforces our desire for continued approval, leading to a strong craving for validation or Craving. This attachment develops into Clinging, and an unaddressed preoccupation with seeking approval can result in mental, emotional, or physical suffering, which is amplified by the impermanent nature of finding approval.

By recognizing the interdependence of these Twelve Nidanas, we can break the cycle of external validation and cultivate self-validation. Strategies for breaking the cycle include gaining a deeper understanding of self and the impermanence of external factors, developing new patterns of thought and behavior, being more mindful of sensory experiences, focusing on internal validation, and cultivating healthy habits of self-validation.