In this article, the cycle of seeking validation is explored through the Twelve Nidanas of dependent origination. The example of a person experiencing a strong need for validation is used to illustrate how this cycle is perpetuated. The Twelve Nidanas are explained in detail, and steps are provided to break the cycle at each point.

Ignorance is the first step in the cycle, referring to the lack of understanding of the true nature of reality, including the idea that seeking validation from external sources can never fully satisfy our innermost needs. Due to ignorance, the person has formed habitual patterns of seeking validation from others to feel good about themselves. This leads to the conditioning of the persons consciousness, causing them to believe that validation from others is necessary for their emotional well-being.

The physical and mental elements that make up a human being are referred to as name and form. The persons body and mind (psychophysical constituents) manifest in a way that is susceptible to seeking validation from external sources. The six sense bases are then explained as the organs of sense that interact with the external world, including sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, and mind. These sense organs are aware of external sources of validation, such as praise or recognition.

The person encounters situations where they can seek validation from others, referred to as contact. As a result of this contact, the person experiences a feeling of inadequacy and a desire for validation, referred to as feeling. This leads to a strong craving for validation to relieve their feelings of inadequacy. The person then becomes attached to their need for validation and intensifies their search for it, referred to as clinging.

This clinging to the need for validation reinforces the persons habitual patterns and karmic tendencies, perpetuating the cycle of seeking validation. This is referred to as becoming. The need for validation then manifests in the form of seeking praise and recognition from others, referred to as birth. If the need for validation is unaddressed, it can lead to physical, mental, and emotional suffering and perpetuate negative consequences in future situations or even future lives, referred to as old age and death.

To break the cycle of seeking validation, it is recommended to develop an understanding of the true nature of reality and cultivate mindfulness to recognize that seeking validation from external sources can never fully satisfy our innermost needs. Through mindfulness practice and insight, we can recognize our habitual patterns of seeking validation and work to break these patterns. Practice mindfulness in order to recognize the physical and mental elements that make up our being, and gain awareness of the ways in which we associate validation with our bodies and minds. Engage in a regular practice of sensory restraint to reduce the temptation to seek validation through the senses.

Use mindfulness to recognize negative feelings like insecurity or doubt, and work to address them directly rather than seeking validation. Practice mindfulness of craving in order to reduce its influence on our behavior. Develop mindfulness of our attachment and work to disengage from it. Use mindfulness to recognize and avoid situations that reinforce the cycle of seeking validation. Engage in a regular practice of self-reflection and self-awareness to recognize how our need for validation manifests in our lives.

Ultimately, by recognizing and addressing our need for validation, we can cultivate greater self-awareness, inner peace, and well-being.