Over-apologizing is a common behavior pattern that can be understood through the lens of the Twelve Nidanas of dependent origination. The 12 Nidanas illustrate how our experiences and reactions are interdependent, leading to the perpetuation of habitual patterns of thought and behavior.

The first link, ignorance, refers to a lack of understanding of the true nature of reality, which leads to a distorted perception of self-worth and low self-esteem. Mental formations, the second link, arise from ignorance and manifest as habitual patterns of apologizing, driven by a desire to seek approval or avoid conflict.

Consciousness, the third link, is conditioned by these mental formations, leading individuals to be constantly aware of situations where an apology may be necessary. Name and form, the fourth link, refers to the psycho-physical constituents that make up an individual, which are shaped by consciousness.

The fifth link, the six sense bases, refers to the sense organs that interact with the external world. In the case of over-apologizing, these sense organs may constantly be scanning for situations where an apology may be required, leading to an over-sensitivity to social cues and exacerbating anxiety.

Contact, the sixth link, occurs when a situation or person triggers the over-apologizing tendency, generating feelings of guilt or shame. This unpleasant feeling, the seventh link, leads to the desire to remove the source of discomfort, perpetuating the cycle of over-apologizing.

Craving, the eighth link, refers to the desire to obtain or remove specific experiences that generate feelings of pleasure or displeasure. In the case of over-apologizing, the individual craves relief from the unpleasant feelings generated by contact and feeling, leading them to seek apologies as a way of removing the source of discomfort.

Clinging, the ninth link, is the attachment to pleasurable experiences or aversion to unpleasant experiences, which perpetuates the cycle of craving and creates the basis for future rebirths. Becoming, the tenth link, refers to the karmic process of becoming that results from clinging, leading to the formation of a new existence.

Birth, the eleventh link, manifests in the constant apologies and awkward interactions that the individual experiences due to their excessive apologizing tendencies. Finally, old age and death, the twelfth link, refer to the physical, mental, and emotional suffering that can result from unaddressed over-apologizing tendencies.

To break the cycle of dependent origination and address over-apologizing tendencies, individuals can take specific actions at each stage of the Twelve Nidanas. This may involve seeking a deeper understanding of the root causes of excessive apologizing, reframing habitual patterns of thought and behavior, practicing mindfulness techniques to become more aware of thoughts and emotions, engaging in activities that promote self-care and well-being, setting boundaries around relationships or situations that trigger excessive apologizing tendencies, practicing assertive communication techniques to express needs and boundaries more clearly, developing self-compassion to reduce the need for external validation, and cultivating positive intentions and engaging in actions that promote well-being and compassion for oneself and others.